The talk was delivered by Ms. Pranjul Somani on 14th June 2019 at ICHARS Centre (Mumbai- Andheri). Pranjul is a therapist and trainer with Institute of Clinical Hypnosis and Related Sciences, Mumbai. She aims to facilitate others to attain balance and harmony between mind, body, & soul.
- A better understanding of the choices available to you
- Choosing the right pathway for self
- Understanding that the decisions you make now have consequences later
- Importance of taking responsibility
- Anyone who is finding it difficult to make a choice
- Anyone who is not able to cope up with the repercussions of their choices
- Anybody who is not satisfied with their current life
- Anyone who feels that they don’t have control over their own life
- Improved decision making
- Adjusting to the changing environment
- A happier and satisfied life
- Focusing on the current choices and learning from the past
DESCRIPTION: The talk started with the basic introduction of everyone. After this, a question was asked to the participants, “If you all have not come for the talk then how you were you to spend these 2-3 hours of your day? What is your routine? What do you do normally?”
The question was asked to bring the first part of the talk topic to their awareness which is choices. Also, to make them understand that they have made a choice coming over here.
To add to this, the participants were asked about the steps or the thoughts that followed one another when they were registering for the talk. The participants realised the process they took to make a choice. They even understood that there is a choice that they make in every decision they take, be it small or big.
Then the exact definition of choice was discussed and explained to them. Then a few examples were given to help them understand choice in a better and effective manner.
- So what exactly is a choice?
– A choice is the Outcome of the decision-making process.
– Selecting between two or more possibilities
Then the question was posed that “what is the difference between choice and decision making”?
- The decision comes from “cutting off” whereas choice comes from “to perceive”.
- The decision means – Determinism & Choices means – Freedom
- Decision – connects to the place of behaviour, performance, and consequences while Choice – connects to the place of desired intention, values and beliefs.
The following points mentioned above about decision and choices were further explained in detail to remove any kind of ambiguity they had about it. To make it more effective in understanding, few examples were taken to explain the process.
The further, a generalised process was explained as to how decision making and choices work hand-in-hand. This is like a core idea behind doing something.
CHOICE -> EVALUATE (PROS & CONS) -> CHOOSE FROM THOSE OPTIONS -> DECISION IS TAKEN -> CHOSE TO ACT UPON IT -> EVALUATE AND ANALYSE -> CREATE ASSUMPTIONS OR BELIEFS.
The above core idea explained the three most important things about making a choice:
- We always have choices whether we believe it not.
- We choose the best option available to us at that point in time – be it due to any limitations or restrictions that we have.
- We should choose wisely.
Now the question which arose is “How to choose in a way which is better and effective in that context because if you end up choosing incorrectly, you will make a fatal error”.
To explain this part, 5 ways to make a choice which is better and effective were explained:
- Do productive self-talk: It means talking to the self. But talking to the self not only in a positive way, instead a talk which helps you with the direction of the goal. It is done based on your belief system, your interest level. Talking to the inner self and listening to it is the key to your happiness.
- Keep the rules flexible: Keeping the rules flexible means not being stuck with one single option or the fundamentals you have. Having said that, at the same time it needs to be rigid in some context. It’s all about breaking and bending the rules when and if needed depending on the context of the situation.
- Create better perceptions: The above point is the extension of this point. The rules are formed based on the perceptions which we have of certain events. These perceptions start building up in childhood and collectively rules are formed. Based on the intensity of how good or bad a perception is, the rules are formed. The difficulty level of breaking or bending rules and creating flexibility is based on the perceptions. Therefore, it important to take all the perception in mind and then take a choice or decision. The other perceptions can be right or wrong based on your beliefs but it is important to keep those perceptions in mind.
- Limit your options: The options from which you choose and make a decision should be lesser in number. The lesser the number of options, the less tiring it would be to take any decision. Also, to make a list of pros and cons of those limited options will be better and finally the decision would be effective. Limited options also help people focusing on the important decisions as we make quite a few decisions in a day.
- Keep the bigger picture in mind: Last but not the least point, always keep the long-term goal in mind while the decision being taken. Choose for the smart option or the keep the purpose in mind for which you are making those choices.
Then the talk was taken further to the second part of it which is Accountability part of the choices that’s been made. A question was posed in front of everyone that “what is the difference between Responsibility & Accountability”.
This question was asked to clarify the meaning of responsibility and accountability as people confuse themselves between both.
- Responsibility is Obligation to perform and Accountability is answer ability for the consequence.
- Responsibility is Shared, before/after the task is done, when someone asked to you do something.
- Accountability is Not Shared, about not only being responsible but also being answerable to your own actions, comes into account after the task is done, when someone agrees to do it by themselves.
Then further this to clarify the difference, even more, few examples were explained. Few examples from their lives were taken and explained whereas few examples were new and continuation of the old ones.
So, being willing to answer to yourself for the outcomes resulting from your choices, behaviour, and actions is what is known as ACCOUNTABILITY.
Therefore, If you start looking up for the actions and take responsibility for doing it, the earlier you do so, the earlier you realise that you can find a solution & can make a better choice available this time rather than just wasting your time cribbing on the last decision.
Having said that, it doesn’t mean that you need not look back in time and think about the decision you made. Instead, look back in a way that you analyse the whole situation and learn from it so that you make better decisions in the coming time.
The key points to keep in mind about Accountability are:
- Keep repeating it to yourself that you chose what was best at that time and now you can learn from it.
- You can always review yourself and can make a choice now.
- Emphasise your strength and improve your weakness to be able to take a better decision.
Then finally one activity was conducted to make them understand the choices they make and also the choice they have made is the best option available at that time. Also, how they are accountable for it.
The activity was with clay. They were presented with few colour options of the clay. They were asked to make something with the clay which personalises them or represents them. They could have chosen any colour and could have made any structure out of it.
Post this they had to explain why they have chosen those colours to make something which represents them? Also, how that structure personalises them?
Then a point was mentioned to them that it is you who have made yourself up and you can always add, subtract or transform according to the context.
Then there was little discussion about Mental Fixation. It is related to the choices that have been made in the past. The choice may or may not have worked out in a way they have wanted and that may have happened a few number of times. And as it is said, they may have made a perception based on those learning and further some rules out of it.
The point being the rules which have been made should not be rules which cannot break or bend because what may have worked earlier might not work now or vice versa.
At last, another activity was conducted to explain how Mental Fixation works.
CLOSURE: Yes, sometimes it is very hard to make decisions and choose from the choices available but we can always try and make something good out of it and be satisfied with it. Also, it was added that ALWAYS REMEMBER that you have made the best choice available to you at that point of time and look back to the past only to learn from it and not to make yourself feel low or shitty about it because even if you have made the mistake earlier, this is the time to not make another one by think over and over about the same mistake.
“Don’t be afraid of making mistakes, mistakes are the best resource of learning and experience.”